The Book Review................

hii there...

This time i am going to write the book review and summary of the book i am currently reading "How to Win Friends & Influence people" by Dale carnegie. i have been highly influence by the book, i will try my level best to tell a brief about the book, if even i failed to leave a mark please read the book if u really want to change your social life and want to be liked by every person you meet or know. The book is written in way back in 1936 and is bestseller and the thing told in the book are still aplicable in todays era. The book is broadly divided into four parts the first two i am going to discuss in this post and the rest in the next one.

The first part deals with the fundamental techniques in handling people. It could be further divided ito further three parts

(a) Don't criticize, condemn or complain, let me explain a bit about it in my way. When ever a person do wrong we tend to get angry on him and tend to cricize the person that you did this thing wrong u dont know any thing etc without bothering what the other person might be thinking, wait for the moment and think how we feel when some body criticizes us and how bad we feel about the person denouncing us,this would be more clear from "Crticism is futile (pointless) because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify him self. Criticism is dangerous ecause it wounds a person's precious pride hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment." Even Mr. Lincoln says " don't critcize others; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances". when dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. we are dealing withe creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with pride and vanity. Bitter criticism caused the sensitive thomas hardy one of the finest novelist s ever to enrich english to give up forever writing fiction. Any fool can criticize condemn and most of us do. but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. we all must try figure out why the person is doing wrong. At last "god himself doesnot prpose to judge man until the end of his days."

(b)honest and sencere appreciation. we human have a great hunger for appreciation and if any body fulfill this hunger by sincere appreciation we enjoy doing that work or in other term if you appreciates somones effort the other person will feel happy and there is a great chance that he will do your work even, but at this juncture i would just like to clear one thing i am talking about real or true appereciation not the false one or flattering ok make a deserving appreciation in right context. to make this clear suppose u work hard on a project and after completion your teacher dont appreciate your work you will feel a bit down and if your teacher appreciate you you will fell more excited and will think of doing something more great now; got it how true appreciation can help to get best out of a person. Think when we are in party the women are always conscious about there look and dress and if you sincerely appreciate them about there cloths they would be delighted. see how important is appreciation and how we neglect this in our day today life so stop cricizing start appreciating.

(c) Arouse in the other person an eager want : " the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what and show them how to get it ". If you want your work to be done by others easily than arouse in the other person an eager want means that that how your work is also important for him. For example if your going for job interview relate your answers fulfilling there needs or demand if you can do so there is greater probability of being selected. Just talk all the time what the other person want and how he could get it. " If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own". a business leader said " people who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can undestand the working of their minds need never worry about what the future has in store for them." so i feel u got what i want to convey to you. the rest of the part i will write in my next post as it is getting a bit lengthy. One thing which i got from the book is every human is delicate and so we should treat every person in an important way.

About my personal life last week i was busy in my internal exam . march is over april ready to come with this the last days of college life are own, i will try to make most of every moment so that in the end i have no regrets.bye and take care

TO Read my previous post click http://abhisheksaini.blog.co.in

Reality of Life continues.........

HII, last fortnight was good, college is fine, there was fest in my college "kolhaal" but i prefer to study at home rather attending it , last weekend i was out of the city at my maternal grand parents home and i had fun there with my cousins. and i am enjoying watching T20cricket of rebellious cricketer in ICL ..

just continuing from where i left in my last post, i discussed abut three points about life, now the fourth one, i wrote that the reason behind our sadness is the expectation now i am going to write about the other factor which also contribute to our sadness or the cause of our unhappiness, our possessive nature we today are very caring about our thing i mean we search our happiness in materialistic thing but these things are temporary and when they die there life gets our we tend to feel sad, i don't mean we should not take care of our thing but we should not get too attach with them resulting in addiction of the thing and when that thing goes away we cry, i feel you got my point.

fifth point which i am going to write is about the secret behind the success and according to me Planing is the single most important thing behind the success according to me, if we don't have any plan about our goal, we are hardly going to achieve it and the things done in haphazard way never result in good result, plan should be practical ,feasible and above all based on your weakness and strength. most of us most of the time fail to to make good plan, but as we get to know more about ourselves the planning becomes easy. At this juncture i would just like to tell you the famous saying of swami Chinmayananda " Plan your work and work out your plan".

sixth point, i feel success and failure both the thing don't occur over a night they occur gradually we don't realize, that every day small bit effort can lead you such a big success and no efforts to great disaster, what i actually mean is we mostly neglect these small contribution and efforts and on D - day they make the difference between winner and failure...
with this i want to end the serious talk

the festival of color is around the corner, yes i am talking about HOLI, the kids in my apartment are getting very naughty as the Holi-day is approaching and they are getting water filled balloon in their hand , they don't mind targeting any body and going out is now getting a bit scary. But i am not against their act as in my childhood i also used to do the same.
today while going through the newspaper i got a bit annoyed the reason being the excessive advertisement in it i was trawling for good article and in between the full page advertisement
eating away the quality of the newspaper. i feel they should make two section of news paper where there is only news and good article and in other adds and other things, but i know they cant do that. with this i conclude wishing all of you happy holi, enjoy the festival of color make sure not to hurt any one{i hope you know what i mean}.........

Life and its complexities

HI after two weeks of gap i am back this time i wont write something personal rather what i feel about life and other things related to it. well last week i had my internal exam and i got good marks life is going fine but the complexities are always there .

first what i feel we always have great desire means i want to be like this , i want that car , i want to earn a Lott and etc but many a people rather most of them fail to achieve why? because i feel there is deserve and desire funda means what ever you desire wont come to you until or unless u deserve that or in other words your efforts are strong enough for that thing .

secondly, why we feel sad , i feel sad because of expectation, it is very simple for example take he case of our Indian cricket team when ever Sachin scores run for India we feel good but when he not we feel sad because we have high expectation for him that he will definitely make runs and when and underdog player from whom we have no expectation if even don't perform we don't feel bad and if he does we feel happy and have higher expectation for next time. similarly in our personal relationship we have lots of expectation from our partner and if those are not fulfilled we feel disappointed so i feel if you want to be happy no need to expect any thing from any body , if by chance they do something for you, you are in win win situation.

thirdly, i feel we always busy in thinking about the irrelevant things means which are nothing to deal with us , for example whats going in match , what India should do, will that movie will be hit ..why i don't have good hairs etc , though the last one is concerned to you but you can hardly change it , and in this thinking we loose our focus on our work , and fail to deliver our best .
so i feel we should not think and waste our focus , best think to avoid thinking is to get completely soaked in the work by making the work more interesting.

i have various other things to discuss here, related to all these but that is for next post till then enjoy this and let me know what you feel about my writing whats your opinion about all this.onething more i would like to tell you about my net friend i got to know about her through orkut and she want me to write about her shweta (name is changed) you are very sweet, caring don't get worried about the future , i know you have bright future just carry on effort and today is your birth day so have blast ..take care ....

some quotations you may like

"Energy and persistence conquer all things."

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

"You must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the secondary consequences."